I'm actually up right now because I'm taking my own advise (rare) and blogging because I don't, my mind will turn off until I do. I told a friend of mine, Shawn, that if he felt like blogging, even though it was 4 am, that he should do so...Well, it's 5:30am...and it's time to write.
Since I was young, I talked a lot. I STILL talk a lot! Social networking has been right up my alley because I feel like it is perfect for me! I get to talk a lot...and write a lot...and express a lot...and that makes me feel good. I don't even know who is listening 99 times out of 100. Sometimes, I gotta pull teeth to see what someone thought about what I wrote or something I said. I'm not looking for endorsement or a pat on the back but it's just nice to know that people read it. Twitter has been amazing for me because of how many conversations it induces...sometimes MONTHS after a tweet! I literally saw a guest of mine that I hadn't seen in months and as I was walking him in, he was talking about my tweets about Hannah! He said the most amazing things and I had NO way of even seeing it coming or knowing that he was paying attention!
I've been in a constant struggle between over-communication and under-communication for all my life but I'm writing this blog to say that I fully endorse OVER COMMUNICATION 100% and recommend it for all human beings. We have enough baggage and enough things weighing us down, isn't it nice to get things off of your chest? Isn't it nicer to TRULY heal after being wounded than it is to conceal a wound and let it fester to the point where is DEMANDS your attention? It's painful to clean a cut...but it's the only way to allow the body to properly repair itself. (So many lessons are right in front of our face.)
Some of the arguments against my sentiments have come from people that have criticized me for talking to ANYONE about ANYTHING. I remember a friend in Florida telling me that I was so weird for having a conversation with a complete stranger for hours. Well, I am weird...and that stranger ended up having a lot of insight for my weird ass. I guess the way I see it is that you never really know who has that missing piece for you. You never know who around you is there for a bigger reason than to just "be around".
I will admit that I have used a "better" filter for who I open up to and share some things because as time has gone on, I've been burned...and people I trusted with my words used them to hurt me or mis-handled my trust. Who knows...maybe something I blog about will one day come back to haunt me later in life...who cares. I would rather over-communicate.
Another argument that I hear is that "I don't want to bother anyone with my problems". My answer to that is simply, "you don't think it bothers people when you bury your issue until it explodes all of the place and leaves numerous casualties in it's wake? You don't think that making yourself one of those casualties will affect SOMEONE?"
I don't even think that over-communication is just talking about things that bother you either...that's just a little piece of it. It's sad that people don't even compliment each other because of the anticipation of what that person may have gotten from it. It's a compliment...that should be positive! I have said Hello to people on the street with no response so many times that it's really very sad. I didn't think it was over-communication but I guess somewhere it became that...I won't stop saying Hello...matter of fact, I'm going to get better about it because I think that I have become a little jaded and slacked off a bit. Even if they don't respond, they'll hear me. Maybe if they hear me, they'll say hello next time to someone else.
I'm going to keep over communicating because who knows when I have something that some one's supposed to hear and vice versa. The next blog...LISTENING...that's even harder!! :)
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Well, well, well...maybe I was that someone who's supposed to hear you this time.
ReplyDeleteTo say that communitcation has been an issue for me throughout my life is an understatement. And I think a lot of that has to do with expectations...how I expect someone to react to what I have to say...a fear of rejection or disapproval...expecting that they should already know how I'm feeling. I've chosen not to express myself to avoid a conflict or any uncomfortable feelings. Many times I've thought that my feelings were irrational and that admission of those feelings to another person made me appear flawed or damaged in some way. I also admit that there have been times when I have not said hello to someone or given someone a compliment for fear of being looked at strangely. And you know what? You're right....who cares?
Because if there is one thing I've learned (especially over the past couple years), it's that a lack of communication ALWAYS leads to the same thing for me...anger, resentment, self doubt, and at times even depression. And all of those things lead to an eruption/explosion of communication and an expression of my feelings. And EVERY time I get those feelings out and communicate them to another person, I ALWAYS feel better and the situation always improves...and I always end up asking myself the same question: WHY DIDN'T I DO THAT SOONER?
So, Joel David, thank you for reminding me and reinforcing what I already know to be true.