Blog Post 6.24.09 The Importance of Rainy Days

How about THIS!! A barrage of BLOGS!

This blog is about:

The importance of rainy days!

Think about it...how do you even KNOW that a day is beautiful? How do you KNOW you are having a good day? How do you KNOW that someone is a good parent?

I'll tell you. You have seen and appreciated the reciprocal of each of them.

Even though you say that the cloudy, cold, gloomy and wet day "blows", you are recognizing it for what it is. When you drop your cell phone in the toilet and stub you toe and get a parking ticket all in the matter minutes, you may say that it sucks, but it's important that you do so. When you see that parent in a grocery store that let's their kid pull everything off of the shelf and throw it at YOU while in line behind them, you acknowledge their negligence...key!!

I have such an ODD point...and I love it!!

The point is that EVERYTHING that happens to you that sucks is equally as good as what happens to you that is awesome. I'll explain.

Q: How do you know that a day is beautiful?

A: because you know what a rainy day is.

Q: how do you know a good manager/co-worker?

A: because you've had a bad one

Q: how do you know a bad parent?

A: because you witnessed one...whether it was in a grocery store or in your own home.

Q: how do we as human being judge anything as good?

A: because we have seen things in our life that ARE NOT good, therefore we make conclusions based on what our reality has been.

Please don't let me confuse the purity of having a great parent (my mother is one) or seeing a well behaved child or having a great day! Those are all things that establish, reinforce and solidify what is good in the world. You must understand that I am an Uber-optimist!! I'm a little nutty with how positively I see things sometimes and I realize that some people think that I'm crazy for being so, but hear this nut case out!

We are HUMAN beings. That's inescapable! Have you ever had a great day BUT at the end of it get into a fight with your loved one? The next day, what do you remember? The fight. Have you ever gotten a car wash that was damn near perfect and then rolled down the windows before they were dry? What do you remember? The streaks. Have you ever had a series of positive events somehow get out weighed by a negative one?

I find such an amazing message in human beings' proclivity to focus and obsess on the negative!! I don't think it's any mistake that we do so either! I think it's something that should be harnessed!

That's right! Focus on it! Recognize it and breath it into you lungs! It's the only way to absolutely appreciate ALL of the good that happens to us.

Without rainy days, sunny ones would be "just another day". Think about it. Without failure, how is it possible to succeed?

A wise person once told me that "Wisdom is the application of knowledge learned". Notice that they didn't say that "wisdom is the application of positive knowledge learned" or that "wisdom is the application of knowledge learned that feels good". Basically, that means that EVERYTHING that happens to us should be used to make us stronger and better. Every joy, pain, sadness, love, tragedy, deception (and so on, and so on) happens to us in order to make us understand something else about life and ourselves.

I think it's important to feel things that are negative AS much as it's important to feel bliss! I don't think it's an an easy task to remain respective of the bad things that happen as it is to revel in the good, however, it's crucially important!

Maybe one day I'll share with you how it is my opinion that my father, who did so many things wrong, helps me daily be a great daddy to Hannah. The individual accounts are irrelevant when I look back on the overall fact that he made me a better person by showing me what NOT to do in life. Again, it was so important to recognize my mother for her righteousness and pure example of parenting to make me the man I am today. However, without recognition of the balance between good and evil, I'd be less of a man today.

Blog post 6.23.09

First of all, I'm sorry that this Blog took so long for me to write! It's been in my head for some time now and I'm glad to finally hit the release valve and let it flow to a printed version of my thoughts! It's been a very busy few weeks since my last entry!
June 11th was Hannah Marie's 2nd birthday and the 14th was her birthday party! My entire extended family came up from Florida to celebrate with us and it was amazing! Mommy, Aunt Donna, Jamia, Justice and Jon Jon, thank you so much for flying here and making Hannah's birthday such a special one!! The show still went on at the nightclub but it was SO nice to have my family in town that week.
Right after that, I had to play a little catch up on all of my work and then roll straight into the next weekend and then Father's Day! I never knew how blessed I would feel every father's day...it's so amazing to have the opportunity to be a daddy that I sometimes wonder why I'm the one being celebrated. I mean, she's MY blessing. Even more than that, it's my responsibility and ultimate dedication to be an influential part of her life...I couldn't help but feel that I wanted to make fathers out there realize what it is to carry the torch of life. It's not a light load. It's nothing to take for granted.
We owe our children so much because it is US that they rely on...US they learn from...and US that keeps them safe from harm...or at least equip to deal with it. The whole day, all I thought was "Isn't this what I'm supposed to be doing?". It almost made me a little uncomfortable because what I do for Hannah isn't abnormal...it should be normal...why isn't it?
I have started to write a pamphlet on how to be a good dad! It's going to be simple...fun...able to relate to a lot of the different situations that Dad's find themselves in. Here's a sample of a few of the topics:

Dads

Wear cargo shorts/pants whenever possible - you can fit diapers, a small box of wipes, a snot rag and a brush all in one pocket. Recommendations for the second pocket - snacks!! Make sure you include at least 1 juice box!

Keep your kid clean!!! There's nothing worse than a kid that looks like they washed their face in snot and then dusted themselves with food crumbs! I didn't say this is easy...and to a certain extent, clothes are an exception. Just wipe em up every once an hour and you'll be fine!

Watch your juevos!!! Yes...I'm talking about your testicles!! Kids have NO CLUE how bad they hurt when caught under a little foot and it WILL happen! You have to be like a prize fighter and anticipate where ALL of their little extremities will land...otherwise...no little brothers or sisters...
Lmao!! Yep...I think the "Watch your Juevos" section is funny as hell AND important! They never tell you that in baby classes! They only tell you about taking care of your CURRENT baby...not making sure you are able to have another!

I don't think I'll be done with that pamphlet for awhile because I learn so much every time I'm with Hannah. The time we spend is so precious because I don't have the luxury of having her all of the time...I think it actually has strengthened my learning curve though. I'm so in tuned with that little person when we are together that I can tell you that most of the time, I know what she's thinking or doing regardless of my proximity to her. True story, I wake up seconds before her ALL the time! It's weird!!

So how does being a daddy tie into being the General Manager of a nightclub? Believe it or not, a lot of the same qualities translate directly.You have to care about people and their lives very similarly. You have to realize that sometimes you have to make hard decisions that affect people and that they may not understand it at that very moment. Hannah doesn't understand why I won't let her jump up and down on my end table and play with the light switch but I have to have the foresight to know that the pickle juice on her little fingers will act as a conductor in an electrical socket...and that it's a long way down if she falls.
Of course it's a lot more formal when you bust someones chops for being late to work...but...it's a very similar principle. It's foresight. If they are late, it could impact the health of the night.

Even though the similarities are endless, the fact is that as a leader, you have to always remain in touch with people. I listen to Hannah when she needs something the same way I listen to my staff. It's also okay if Hannah cries sometimes. It's okay if she doesn't always get what she wants. It's okay if she gets a little mad at me because I scold her. That's all part of the process of development.

Someone recently said that I was exploiting Hannah to promote Le Passage... That's the funniest and most absurd thing I've ever heard. I tell these stories and give my thoughts to the world in order to make some sort of correlation between the insanity that I work in and the love of my life. If that's not what you get from these pieces, please stop reading them. I do everything that I do for my little girl...including download my thoughts and express things that are sometime pent up inside of me.

Initially, I started writing this blog in order to highlight some of the craziness I deal with during the weekend and how ironic that was to being the father of a little girl. This has definitely evolved into something much more. Now, it's a chronicle of how I stay sane and focused in the insanity...I just want my little girl to be proud of me. All of the temptations that come with my position are trivial in comparison to her.